finding true rest

The family I live with has the most beautiful home. Sometimes I still can't believe they let me live with them because (as my parents can attest) I'm super messy and leave dishes all over the place and come home at odd hours. But the Evans are gracious in all ways and I will forever be grateful for them.

My favorite part of their house is the back porch. Sometimes I sit out there for hours and just look at the beauty the Lord has created. There's a tiny forest just a few feet from the fence that I've ventured in to a few times, and a small lake that has the most still water I've ever seen. (Although there are supposedly snakes so I won't be exploring that anytime soon.) 

This semester has been a rollercoaster and it's not slowing down anytime soon. My last year at SFA has brought up new emotions that I don't want to deal with yet but life around me doesn't quite understand that.

Yet, I have never experienced as much rest as I do right now in this season of life. I'm sitting on the back porch as I write this, looking at steady trees and calm waters, and all I can think about is Jesus. He is constant and steady and true and omnipresent and so much more.

What makes my rest even more difficult to fathom, is that I no longer know what I'm going to do with my life. For three years, I thought I was going to go into the foreign mission field after college. And I still pray for that opportunity someday, but the Lord has shown me in numerous ways lately that He has something else, something better prepared for me.

I have no clue what that plan is, though. I don't know if I'll stay in Nacogdoches or move out of the country. I don't know if I'll work for a church or work in an office. I simply just don't know anything about my future.

And that excites me.

The past few weeks I've learned what it really means to trust in the Father more than I ever have in my life. I walk around moment by moment with my arms stretched open and I know the Lord is going to fill my hands with something—and it will be beautiful. God absolutely has a plan for my life. I know that with certainty. I know that God will use me in whatever way He wants me to.

True rest means that we cast ALL our burdens on Jesus. The burden of my future, my finances, my life is not mine to carry. If I tried to carry it all, I would crumble. But praise be to God that He sent His all-powerful, all-loving Son to walk through this crazy life with me.

I would like to clarify that I have had a few moments of panic in these past few weeks. There have definitely been times when I've become overwhelmed with everything. But quickly I am reminded of God and everything He's done for me.

The Son became a human, lived life among broken people, died on the cross and rose again so I may be free form this world. All the fears, anxieties, pressures, and temptations about this world no longer have control over me. I can walk confidently into an unknown future because I know God is with me through it all.

Find your happy spot to rest in. It may be the well-loved couch in a coffee shop, the middle of woods, your bedroom, or the backyard of a home full of loving-kindness. Rest is so powerful. It can affect our day-to-day lives, and we don't even realize it. If you've been feeling distraught or stressed lately, take time to rest. Rest in the Father and His will for us. Rest in the love of Jesus. Rest in the power of the Spirit. Rest in the living word of God.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever." - Psalm 73:26 

Simple Gospel

It's only Tuesday but this week has been busy and hectic for me already. It's the end of the year so I have projects and papers to finish, and my brain is so tired it seems like I haven't had sleep in days. 

It's during this stressful times that I leave God on the back burner instead of turning to Him for comfort. But after a beautiful night with my community group girls (who I love very very much), I decided that my assignments can wait while I spend some much needed time with the Lord. 

And I'm so glad I did. 

Reading through John tonight, I was reminded of how much Christ deeply loves and cares for all His children. Chapter 17 is a prayer that leaves me in awe every time I read it. Knowing that he is about to be lead to his death shortly, Christ takes time to pray to his Father on behalf of all people. He asks the Lord to watch over them, take care of them, and lead them well even after he leaves this earth. What a wonderful Savior!

This semester I have really tried to focus on what exactly it means for me that Christ died on the cross. Growing up in church, I've grown accustomed to hearing about the resurrection story; it didn't effect my life anymore. But hearing the story at Easter awakened a curiosity in me that I hadn't had in a long time. What does Christ's crucifixion mean to me? Why is it so important that he rose again? 

I probably should have answered these questions a long time ago, but my answers would have been very rehearsed. Now, I know precisely what it means to me. 

God came to earth and manifested himself as a perfect, loving man, who then chose to die so that I may live. He chose to give up his own life so that I might know his Father and receive the Helper to navigate through this crazy life with. He died so that I could have no fears, worries, or anxieties, but instead I could have peace and comfort that is only found in his embrace. Most importantly, he died not only so that he could overcome darkness, but that I might have the same power to withstand against the attacks of the enemy.

I've lived most of my Christian walk not really focusing on what Christ did, but instead looking past that and wanting more knowledge. While studying theology is certainly not a bad thing, it's a bit ridiculous to learn more about the person of Christ while completely forgetting the entire reason he even came down to this world in the first place. There would be no point of Christianity if there was no gospel.

My prayer is that I never lose sight of what Christ has done for me, that I daily take time to consider what he has done (and what he is doing) for me and let it affect every area of my life. I hope that after you've read this, you take time to really think through all God has done for you. 

Let the love of the Father was over you day by day, moment by moment. When you walk with the Father, your life will never be the same again. It is difficult, but dang, it's worth it.

"Your love so deep is washing over me

Your face is all I seek, You are my everything

Jesus Christ, You are my one desire

Lord, hear my only cry, to know you all my life"

- Sinking Deep by Hillsong Young & Free