T-minus five days

The day has (almost) arrived. I'm leaving for mission trip to Scotland this Friday. I cannot wait to see the church my team is working with and begin the outreach programs at the Commonwealth Games. It's been nearly five months since I have been assigned my mission, and I can truly say that they have been five challenging months.

The first two months were solely focused on me trusting in God's faithfulness to provide financially for me. For this trip, I was asked to raise a large sum of money in a short amount of time. I was almost done with my first year of college and I was already tight on money. But--as He has done many times before--God provided. God used His people's obedience to Him to show me His faithfulness. Thanks to Him and everyone's giving, I was able to have that huge burden lifted off of me. I remember crying when I found out that all my money had been raised.

(That being said, to anyone reading this who donated money, I have so much gratitude for you. You all hold a deep, special place in my heart.)

But my journey didn't stop there. It was actually just beginning. A few days prior to my training orientation, one of the greatest Christian women that I was blessed to have known passed away. My Granny was a strong believer of Christ, and although her passing was difficult and there are days that I still struggle with it, I have full confidence that she and my Papaw will be watching over me in Scotland from Heaven. 

The next big hurdle I dealt with was meeting my team. I was so nervous and excited to see who all of my teammates were. There are seven of us total, so I was afraid that all our personalities would potentially not mesh. But then I met them, and all of those fears were wiped away. I could not be more excited to work with my team; they are all such great followers and strong believers of Christ. In the times that we have shared together leading up to our departure, we have had amazing converations of how God has worked in our lives and how He has made Himself known to us in various ways. My heart cannot wait to serve with them in Scotland.

And now as the day approaches, I find myself trying to conquer another battle. It is one that I have struggled with on nearly every mission trip I have been on: boldness. There have been numerous times on trips where I have lost confidence in who I am in Christ and, as a result, have not been able to  share what God wants me to. I have worked hard this summer to memorize 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 in order to fight and overcome that struggle. I find that it is a great reminder of how we should all approach our mission field:

"And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God."

It's taken a while, but this passage has defintely been a source of comfort for me. I know that Paul was one of the greatest proclaimers of Christ to ever live, so by following his lead, I hope that I will be able to complete my mission.

So now, I ask for prayer for my team as we leave for our mission. We are sure to encounter some kind of spiritual warfare but I know that through the power of God, we will overcome it. I also ask that you pray for boldness for our team and that we will all focus on our mission. My team members names are Kim, Karlie, Ashley, Sean, Gary, and JD. 

Thank you to everyone who has already been praying for me. I love all of you so much. And don't worry, I'll take plenty of pictures. 

Impatiently Waiting for Patience

I've been saying for years that I want to be more patient in life. This summer I am going to accomplish that goal.

I was probably about 13 when I realized that I was an overly impatient person. I knew at the time that it wasn't good to be impatient, but I never really cared much about it to change anything. Patience is so vital to life. Patience can be used in so many different ways and there are honestly no negatives to having patience. 

Looking back on my life, there have been a few times where I've been able to be patient. But those times were few and far between. I had to be patient on finding out where I would be serving The Lord this summer--(FYI, it's Scotland for those who don't know). Waiting to hear from someone who I didn't know well for something that would be a huge impact in my life was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I was able to endure and now my patience has paid off. 

That doesn't mean that I suddenly became the most patient person in the world. Actually if you had asked me early last week, I would have let you know that I didn't have a patient bone in my body. 

It's been a week since I began working with some of my favorite kids on the world. It's also been a week since I've began working with children who need more patience than I have. 

Obviously I love being a camp counselor, but I'd be lying if I said that all days were fantastic. There are some kids who are angels one day and then divas the next. And that's okay because they're all still kids so it's perfectly fine for them to have moments of misbehavior since they're still learning. 

But it's not alright for me to have those misbehaving moments. 

I know that if I want to keep being happy at my job, I'm going to need A LOT of patience. 

Anyone who knows me knows that I love children. I absolutely adore working with children. But that doesn't mean that loving them is always easy. 

I cannot constantly yell at the kids or punish them via timeout simply because they don't do what I say right away (no matter how bad I really want to). In these "troubling times," patience comes in handy.

I know that God is using these kids to teach me patience right now. It's been one week and I can already feel myself becoming more patient, especially with the kids. I can now only pray that I will grow more patient throughout the summer. One day I hope that when God calls me to do something that requires patience, I will be able to do it happily and not complain. 

And I know that God's timing will come for me, but until then, I'll be patiently waiting. 

More Than Enough

I finally did it. I created a blog.

I cannot count the number of people who have encouraged me to write a blog within this past year. Of course I love to write—I am a journalism major for crying out loud. Yet every time someone would say something to me, I would always give some excuse. The easiest excuse to give to people was that I write enough for my classes.

(FYI: I write the same amount as much as every other college student; I’m still just taking my basics.)

The real reason I never wanted to start a blog, was that I didn’t think that I would have anything worth saying. I didn’t think that my words or thoughts or opinions mattered. I struggled for nearly 18 years with my confidence. I rarely ever thought I was good enough in anything I did. I constantly second guessed myself. I struggled often with accepting praise for any accomplishments. I never liked the way I looked or acted. I just didn’t like me.

And I didn’t like that I didn’t like me.

So at the beginning of this year, I made a promise to myself that I would love who I was. Six months into this year, and I can gladly say that I absolutely adore myself. The hardest part was digging down to the root of my issue. It took a while for me to understand why I ever even hated myself in the first place.

The problem was that I was looking at myself wrong. I saw the things that made me inadequate and thought of them as bad things. But they are not bad things. In 2^nd Corinthians, Paul tells about his weaknesses and how he thought they made him insufficient to teach the Gospel, when in actuality, his weaknesses brought more glory to God.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

You see, my weaknesses and flaws are all a part of me. I was given the abilities and imperfections I have for a reason. And while I may not know all the reasons behind them, I am beginning to accept them, which is a start.

So even though I may not think that I am the prettiest or smartest or nicest or whatever the world says I should fill the blank in with, I am more than enough—all  thanks to Christ. And if I am good enough for the creator of the universe, then I am good enough for me.